Saturday, August 02, 2008

Battle of the 'verts

This post has been a long time coming, and many of you already know the basics. But this blog is for posterity, and at some point Mer will need to know that I was aware of things like this long before she was a teenager.

In this case "things like this" refers to personality type. I'm an INFP. Ever taken that test? If not, the main thing you need to know, for the sake of this post, is that the 'I' stands for introvert. I am an introvert. My energy comes from being alone. Love it or hate it, that's how it is. I've moved closer to the center of the social scale since meeting my husband, because he is the poster boy for extroverts. And I'm glad I've changed a bit, because alone time is not something one comes by easily when raising a 2 year old, working part time, and living with the Laruski. But introvert I be.

Meredith and Keddi do lunch. Keddi ran conversational interference for me this week. I love my mom.

So thanks for indulging me through THAT selfish paragraph. The point here is that Meridy J. ain't no introvert. Good heavens, no. She wants constant interaction. One day I clocked her need for interaction. In a 3 hour period, I was permitted to sit quietly without actively communicating with her for a total of 67 seconds. That's right. One minute, 7 seconds. I could go for 6 or 7 DAYS without communicating and now I'm allotted 67 seconds.

Meredith explains something to a child she met 3 seconds previously.

An exchange which sums up this whole delicate balancing act occurred recently. In the midst of the barrage of words, I closed my eyes and went to my quiet place. I was aiming for a sort of mental reboot, gathering my energy to head back into the verbal fray. My eyes had probably been closed for 10 seconds when Meredith said "Mommy, please don't close your eyes." Taking the bait, I said, "Why, honey?" I should have anticipated her response: "Because I might be lonely."

Poor dear. Now, admittedly, I love my daughter's ability to communicate. It's fun, and funny. We can have some pretty good conversations. And as I've said before, I'm grateful that she's obviously not going to have to slog her way through painful years of shyness. But for now, she's 2, and not possessed of tremendous measures of patience. She doesn't yet understand the concept of interrupting, or the complex concept that mommy will be a better mommy if we can play the quiet game like we mean it, for just a minute or two.

Meredith spells out some explicit instructions for Walt.

So I'm presented with the challenges of finding patience and energy to respond to her needs, and maybe someday, teach her about personalities and needs that are different from her own. It's nothing more than lots of folks before me have done, so surely I can muddle through. Quietly.

3 comments:

Freedom Martinez said...

ROTFLMAO!!!
I SOOOOO feel you, girl!
I am feeling the exact same way, and I AM an extrovert!!!
This is why I stay up to insane hours blogging, b/c it is the only time I am able to be in my own head without interruption.
TOnight, for example...
We forced Vivia to eat "one more bite" of chicken so that she could have a cookie for dessert. So, in her defiance, she chewed and sucked on that piece of meat for (no joke) 30 minutes. GAbe says to me, "Babe, should we do something about that?" and I reply, "Nope. I am enjoying the silence."
He and I got a huge laugh out of that just four short hours ago.
Again, I think VV and MJ would be BFF. Unless they were too much alike to get along, that is...
hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

angie c said...

Oh girl. I'm so feeling you on this one.

angie c said...

I bet that was hard for Angie to even comment!
Kev